Lily's Sacrifice
by Lily Rose Potter
Summary: Prequel to Year Of Truth. A quiet, friendless, muggle-born girl gets tangled in the lives of five boys, which eventually leads to a sixth man in her life and the end of it.
1. Preface: The Marauders

***Preface: The Marauders 

            A boy, with dark hair and guarded brown eyes, sat alone beside the window.  He glared at the window, or perhaps at his own reflection in the window.

            Another boy in this portion of the train, also had dark hair, and eyes just as dark.  He had been excited, but now he sat watching the other boy with a frown.  What could ever be wrong with this boy to sit so miserable?  He was going to the best school that had ever been built.  Curiosity got the best of him as he crossed the isle and sat in front of the quite boy.

            "Hey, I'm Sirius."

            James blinked up at him.  It was cruel, but just too good to pass up.  "Hi, I'm joking."

            Sirius grinned, and James smiled back.  

***

            James and Sirius stood together in the dorm room, looking out the window.  They had a great view here.  The door opened behind them, and they whipped around. 

            "Freeze, intruder!" they shouted, wands ready.

            Grinning, not in the least bit intimidated, the newcomer threw his hands up, his light brown eyes laughing.  "Please, don't hurt me!"

            Sirius lowered his wand, approaching him slowly.  "Alright intruder, state your name and purpose."

            "Remus," he said, then laughed.  "And I thought I was coming here to sleep!"

            "Well in that case, welcome, Sir Remus."

***

            Sirius groaned when they walked into Charms.  "What is it?" Remus asked.

            "That," Sirius said, gesturing to another boy, sitting to the side of the class room.

            "What's wrong with him?"

            "He's a complete ass, and a git on top of it," Sirius answered, glaring at the dark haired boy.  "And besides that, his whole family is dirty.  The Snapes."

            Severus Snape glanced up, to find Black glaring at him, and three other boys staring at him with curiosity.  He met Black's glare with one of his own.

            "Hello, _Severus_," Sirius drawled.

            "Fuck you," Snape spat.

            "HEY!" James lunged, Remus and Peter catching him out of instinct.  The professor walked in and James stopped struggling.  "You watch your mouth, slime ball," James growled viciously.

            Snape was prevented from replying when the professor cleared his throat.  As they took seats, Sirius flashed James a thankful glance, but the other boy was too busy fuming to catch it.  He didn't understand why he felt the need to protect Sirius, but there was no way he was going to let Snape get away with anything like that as long as he was around.

***

            When Sirius returned from detention, he expected to find James extremely grateful.  He was not expecting him to be angry.

            "What were you playing at?  You didn't throw it, I did!  Why did you do that?" James shouted, as soon as Sirius walked through the dorm door.

            Sirius blinked.  "You served three detentions last week!  McGonagall threatened to write your parents if you got another!  I was trying to help!"

            "Why would you do that?  Why would you help me?"

            "Because you're my best friend you insensitive jerk!"

            James stopped short, shock falling across his face.  "I'm your what?"

            "My best friend," Sirius stated, not understanding how James didn't already know that.

            "You mean, you really like me?"

            Sirius stared at him.  "Is there something wrong with you?  I wouldn't take a detention for you if you weren't my best friend.  Hell, I wouldn't take a detention for my _girlfriend_."

            James snickered.  "That's cause your girlfriend's mean."

            "Hey, stop changing the subject.  We're still trying to figure out what's wrong with you."

            "There's nothing wrong with me."

            Sirius gave him a calculating look.  "Are you sure about that?"

            Remus was entering the room with Peter, as James nodded.  "Completely sure."

            "Hey Re, don't you think there's something wrong with Jamesy here?"

            Remus grinned.  "If he thought he was going to get away with throwing that frog into Snape's cauldron, there is."

***

"Dump her Sirius," Peter advised.

"Seriously, Sirius, she's mean.  Really.  Pick somebody else."

"She is not mean."

"Yes she is," Remus agreed.  "She pushed that little Hufflepuff out of her chair the other day in Potions.  Nobody's really sure why."

"Maybe cause she's mean?"

"Alright, I'll dump her.  Thanks guys, for all the loving support and all."

James grinned at him.  "That's what we're here for.  But that Lin girl, now she's cute _and_ nice."

***

            "Get AWAY from me!"

"James!  Who the fuck dropped you on your head?  I don't understand it!"

            James jerked away from Sirius when he was reached for.  "Stop it!  Leave me alone!"

            "Leave you alone?  What is WRONG with you?  Why do you always think I'm going to backstab you?"

            "Why wouldn't you?" James shouted back, putting the bed between himself and Sirius.

            Remus and Peter watched with large eyes as Sirius threw his arms up in frustration.  "I don't get you James!  One minute you're just like us, and then the next you seem to think that everybody hates you and everything that goes wrong is your fault!"

            James's voice fell to a whisper.  "It's not?"

            Sirius stared at him.  "What do your parents _do_ to you?"

            None of them understood why James started to cry.

***

            "Are you guys sure this is a good idea?" Remus asked, as they quickly nicked the seeds out of the plant.

            Sirius snickered.  "No.  But it'll be damn funny.  Just picture it, Snape with beans growing out of his ears."

            James grinned, shoving the seeds down in his pocket.  "If we have any left, we should plant them in McGonagall's classroom."

            "Somebody's coming!" Peter squeaked.  Shoving their seeds in their pockets, the four fled the greenhouse.

***

            "What are you doing?"

            James looked up and blushed slightly.  "Painting."

            "You paint?" Sirius asked, eyes wide.

            James nodded, stepping back to hide behind the easel he'd set up in the corner of the room.

            "What are you painting?"

            "Nothing," James lied.

            "You're not standing back there painting nothing.  What are you painting?"

            "The Great Hall."

            "Can I see it?"

            "No."  Sirius walked around the easel anyway, his eyes going wide.  He really hadn't expected James to be good at painting.  Art didn't seem like his thing.  "How long have you been painting?"

            "Most of my life," James replied.  "Do you like it?"

            Sirius tilted his head.  "Yeah.  Never really liked art but it looks good to me.  Ask Remus though.  He seems like an art guy.  He'd know what he was talking about."

***

            The ground was firm, and James idly wondered if that was good flying conditions.  But then, he supposed, the ground really couldn't be that important in flying unless you fell.

            "Have you ever flown before, James?" Sirius asked.

            James shook his head. "Always wanted to though.  Have you?"

            Sirius nodded, grinning.  "Mum, she used to play Quidditch.  Dad thinks it's too dangerous, but mum really wants me to get onto the team as soon as I can.  I'm not really sure if I wanna play, but I do love to just fly."

            When he climbed on his broom, even before taking off James felt, something.  He glanced at Sirius, wondering if it was just him, but everybody else just seemed eager to be up in the air.

            "Ready now?  On three.  Two, THREE!"

            He shoved off the ground, and into the air, and it was the most magical feeling he'd experience since school had started.  It took every bit of control not to fly away, but they were just supposed to go up…

            "Alright then, try to move around a little bit!"

            Higher.  He wanted to go higher.  He didn't know how he knew to pull up and push forward, but something in him did and before he knew it he was speeding up above all their heads.

            "Mr. Potter!  Get down here!  That's too high!"

            "He's never flown before ma'am!"

            "Mr. Potter!  Are you okay?!"

            "James?" Sirius shouted.  James looked down at him and grinned, and Sirius knew there was nothing wrong with him.  James pushed forward, leaning, and sped towards his best friend.  Sirius, not really sure if James had complete control of his broom yet, shouted.  James pulled to the side at that last minute, spinning around Sirius and hitting him lightly on the back.  

            "Sirius!  This is beyond amazing!"

            Sirius turned and looked at him.  "If you're flying like that and you've never flown before, I'm not going to have a shot in hell for a Quidditch position."

            "We could both do it!" James said excitedly, flying around Sirius in circles.  "We could be the best pair of beaters ever."  He shot under Sirius, then pulled up and did a figure eight over him.

            "Nah, James, I think you'd make a better chaser."

            James looked at him curiously.  "Really?"  He flew around in another circle.  "Sirius?" James asked, saying his best friend's name in a way that let Sirius know he wanted something.  "Do you think you can help me learn?"  Any jealousy Sirius felt vanished, and he nodded.

***

            "Why am I always the one to watch?"  Peter asked.

            "Because that's your job, Pete.  You keep watch, James and I do the actual rule breaking, and Remus supervises while warning us that we're doing something stupid."

            Even Peter couldn't help but chuckle.  "Besides, Peter," James elaborated, "none of us are as good at knowing when to get the hell out of there as you are.  Now, stand out here and look lost.  If anybody starts to come down the hall, knock the door twice and we'll bail out the window."

            "What am I going to do?"

            "Just ask them to point you in the direction of the Gryffindor common room.  You're a first year, it's still okay to forget where you sleep."

            Peter nodded, closing the door behind the other three.  The next day in Charms, they had a neon pink chalk board.

***

            "James?"

            "Hmm," came the bored reply.  They both were lying on James's bed, spreading out their chocolate frog cards.

            "That night last month…"  James knew what he was talking about, but didn't say anything.  Sirius went on.  "What was wrong with you?"

            "Nothing was wrong, Sirius."

            "Are you lying to me?"

            "Since when do we have mushy girl conversations like this?"

            Sirius glared at him.  "I'm just trying to help."

            James looked up, and the amount of love and gratitude in his eyes made Sirius uncomfortable.  "You already have."

            Both looked away after only a moment, embarrassed, changing the topic back to the cards.

***

            "I can't believe _you_ managed to pass trans, Peter!" Sirius said, clapping him on the back.  Peter blushed with pride.  Remus congratulated him also, in a bit more tactful way.

            "Sirius?"

            "Whatcha want?" Sirius asked, knowing already that James was asking for something.

            "Do you think I could go home with you?"

            Sirius blinked and looked at Remus.  Remus nodded, but only because James wasn't looking.  Some things just weren't talked about.  "Sure thing, James.  I'll write mum and dad now, they should get it before this weekend.  They won't mind, we've got loads of space."

            James grinned, finally looking forward to the summer.

***

            Madam Min tisked as she mended yet another broken bone.  "And what was it this time?"

            "He was just training for Quidditch before the year ended, Madam," Sirius lied, smiling because he knew it would work.

            Madam Min scoffed, and Sirius's face fell.  "Quidditch my back side.  You four were doing something to cause trouble again.  You're the most marauding group of children this school has ever seen.  We're glad to send you home."

            James, his arm now fully restored, looked at Sirius, his eyes bright.

***

            "Where's Remus?" 

            "He said his mum was sick again," Peter answered.

            "Damn.  That woman is going to kick the bucket if she doesn't stop getting sick.  We wanted to tell you guys about the _great_ idea Madam Min gave us this morning."

            Peter looked up.  "What is it?"

            Sirius grabbed his shoulders.  "We're gonna name ourselves.  We're going to be the Marauders. And we're going to be the worst thing this school has ever seen, and talked about for generations to come.  Next year, we'll make sure everybody knows it."

***

            Sirius and James raced each other down the stairs to answer the door bell.  Peter stood there, grinning, if sheepishly, while his mother glared down at both of the boys.  Something about her made them stop, and stare at her without a word.

            She scoffed after a moment, turning her nose up.  "No manners.  Petey, I'll be back in no more then three hours."

            She spun on her heal, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.  James patted Peter on the back.  "Don't worry, Petey, we won't let her spoil our day.  Remus is going to be here any minute.  I'll show you Sirius's room."

***

            "Sirius?"

            "Whatcha want?" Sirius said sleepily, and James grinned.

            "I don't want anything."

            "Yes you do," Sirius replied, turning over.

            "Do you think your parents mind that I'm still here?"

            "No, they don't care.  Besides, there's only two weeks left until school starts.  What would the point of leaving now be?  Now will you please stop asking me?"

            "I just feel like I'm imposing."

            Sirius sighed, and rolled to look over the edge of his bed down at James.  "If you give them that dumb painting you've been working so hard on, they'll probably love you so much they'll beg you to stay every summer."

            James grinned at him.  "Thanks Sirius."

            "Now go to sleep."  Sirius laid his head back down, and several minutes passed before…

            "Do you really think they'll like it?"

            A well aimed pillow smacked James in the face.

***

            "Are you ready, my fellow Marauder?"

            James saluted.  "Now boys, really, try to behave yourselves this year."

            "We will Mr. Black!" James reassured, running over to give Ms. Black a hug.  "Thanks for letting me stay with you."

            "It was our pleasure, James.  Be sure to come back, okay?  We'll set you up a paint room" Ms. Black said, giving him a wink.

            James blushed, but nodded.  Sirius snickered, coughing something that sounded distinctly like "mama's boy."  James glared at him and Sirius stopped, straightening their luggage.  It wasn't really his, or James', it was theirs.  All of their belongings were mixed, but they weren't worried about it.

            "Sir James, be prepared to enter the portal to the marauding playground!"

            "Be _good_!" Mr. Black tried as they headed for platform nine and three quarters.  

            "Write me and tell me what you do!" Ms. Black said with a grin.  Her husband glared up at her.  "Oh, lighten up, dear."

***

            She was lost.  She held her kitten closer and stared at the ticket.  How was she supposed to get on a platform that didn't exist?  She wanted her parents.  She wanted to go home.  But Petunia was 'dying'.  They were at the hospital, and she was expected to go to school.  And Petunia was a dirty liar.

            "Hi."

            She turned around and looked up.  A boy with sandy hair and warm honey eyes smiled at her, as did the woman behind him.  She stood and stared, unsure what to do or say.

            "Where are you trying to get to?"

            "Hogwarts," she whispered. 

            "Are you lost then?" the woman behind the boy asked.

            She blushed, hiding behind her kitten, but nodded.  "I'll help you then.  Do you have your stuff?"

            She bent at her knees and picked up her only bag.  He took it from her, and set it on his cart.  "Ma, will you take our stuff through?"

            "Sure hon."

            She was going to watch the woman, but the boy distracted her.  "I'm Remus."  When she looked up again the woman was gone.

            "Lily," she said softly.

            "Are you ready?"  She nodded, trying not to shake.  "Take my hand.  Hold your kitty tight."

            She wrapped the blanket around her kitten a little tighter, then took his hand.  "Close your eyes," he instructed, before he started running.

            She didn't realize they were heading for the stone wall until they were through it.  He let go of her hand, though now all she wanted to do was hold on tight.  "I'll see you at school, Lily."

            She didn't even manage to say goodbye before he ran towards some other people.  His mother walked her bag over to her, smiling.  She hoped she managed to smile back.  


	2. Chapter One: Two Secrets

***Chapter One: Two Secrets 

            She placed her bag down on the floor.  It was surprising to realize how she didn't have that much, _stuff_.  Her father was their family's main source of income, and he was an artist.  This meant that that source wasn't always reliable, so stuff wasn't something their family had a lot of.

            She unwrapped the blanket from Kit and set her down on the seat.  The baby cat circled once before settling down contently.  She wondered if cats that were gotten in the magical world were better behaved then normal cats, or if Kit was just special.  

            She sat down beside the window.  The compartment was empty, not a fact she minded in the least.  The moment she was still Kit got up and moved into her lap.  She took comfort in the unconditional companionship the small creature offered.  She was terrified, and Kit at least gave her something to focus on.

            She had no idea what she was getting into.  She would have refused to leave, stayed with the parents she loved, and even the sister that hated her.  But there was this feeling, in her old school, that she hated.  That something wasn't right, something was missing from her, or rather, from all of them.  And this school was offering the answer to that problem.  Here, she prayed, she would fit in.

            She heard the compartment door slide hope, and heard laughter, but she didn't look up.  How was she supposed to talk to people from a world she didn't know?

            "Hey there, Lily."

            She looked up at Remus, who was smiling at her, and tried to smile back.  There were three other boys behind him, all dragging their things with them.  It looked like they were going to be her company, whether she wanted it or not.

            "She's cute, Remus!" said the darkest of the three.  He had shaggy black hair, and eyes too match it.  But the dark eyes were warm, not cold.  And he was easily the best looking boy she'd ever set her eyes on.  "Did you finally get a girlfriend?"

            Remus took a friendly swipe at the boy's head.  "Hardly.  You'll have to forgive Sirius, Lily.  His mother dropped him on the head as a baby."

            "Three times," Sirius added, with a grin, and a heart breaking smile.

            "Lucky for you that you're thick headed." 

            Lily's attention shifted to the new speaker.  His hair was just as black as Sirius', but not nearly as long.  And his eyes were not as dark, they were an even brown.  "This is James," Remus said with a smile.  "He's not much better then Sirius.  And this is Peter."

            She looked at the one boy who hadn't spoken yet.  He was shorter then the other three, and a little pudgy.  His eyes were brown to, almost as dark as Sirius' eyes.

            Lily was a firm believer that you could find out a lot about a person just by their eyes, and she did a quick assessment.  Remus' eyes were friendly.  A nearly golden honey.  His eyes created an instant trust bond with anybody he looked at.  Sirius on the other hand, had a very distinct mischievous glint across his nearly black eye.  They were friendly enough, but he was a trouble maker and she knew it all ready.  Peter's eyes had a childlike innocence to them, the kind that made it hard to believe he was friends with Sirius.  But James, his were different.  They were, tired.  He had a smile on his face, but it didn't reach his eyes.  There was no innocence there, he was, jaded.

            "Not yours, huh Remus?"  Sirius asked with a grin, moving over to take the seat beside her.  "That's a cute cat, what's it's name?"

            Lily tried not to be intimidated by his obvious flirting, but couldn't help but be worried about Sirius' fondness for the word cute.  "Her name is Kit."

            He reached out to pet the cat on her lap, but Kit hissed at him.  His brow furrowed.  "Why don't cats _ever_ like me?  I'm a good guy, Kit, I swear."  He tried again, and this time the kitten begrudgingly allowed him to pet her.

            Lily wasn't exactly sure what to do.  Here a boy she had never met before was petting her cat while it was sitting on her lap.

            "Alright, Sirius, that's enough."  James grabbed Sirius' robe and hauled him out of the seat.

            "But James!  She's so _cute_!"  Lily found it slightly disturbing, his use of the word.  She didn't think he'd like cats so much–

            "I know, Sirius, the girl's adorable, but she's not even at school yet.  Restrain yourself."

            _'Oh,'_ Lily thought, blushing.

            James dropped Sirius in another seat, who grumbled good naturedly and still grinned.  

            "Ignore them," Remus said, sitting down beside her.  "They're always like that."

            She nodded slowly.  It wasn't her first experience with twelve year old boys.  She did go to school.

            "So, do you know about the school's houses?"

***

            She was sitting at the Gryffindor table.  She discreetly looked the table up and down to see who she was with.  She breathed a sigh of relief seeing the boys from the train.  Well, seeing Remus.

            He head down and eyes glued to her plate, she tried to eat what her stomach would allow.  

            There was a huge racket behind her, and before she thought about it, she turned to look.  A short boy, no more then a year ahead of her, was shouting.  She watched as he ran out of the room, obviously infuriated.  

            She supposed he hadn't meant for his hair to be neon pink.

            When she heard the boys from the train giggling, she put two and two together.

***

            It was always too quite in the doom.

            That was why, even though she had no desire to talk to most of the people there, she always stayed in the common room, in the one corner.  Kit was curled up by her feet, and she had her knitting in her lap.  She watched Remus out of the corner of her eye, waiting for James and Sirius to get distracted with each other.

            She was so glad that she was in Remus' house.  She didn't really care otherwise.  As long as she was in Remus' house, she wouldn't care if he was a Slytherin.

            The marauders as a whole, however, bothered her a great deal.  Sure, Sirius and James were amusing, but they had a tendency to be obnoxious.  Remus was sane, at least, most the time.  Peter, well, she didn't really know him.  He wasn't much of a marauder anyway.  She could tell that he was included because he was in the same dorm and they would never want him to feel left out.

            They really were _good_ people, which made it that much more annoying when they were obnoxious.  Despite how much they claimed the jokes on Snape were because Snape was a horrible person, it was obviously an excuse to just have good natured fun.  

            Finally she decided she couldn't wait anymore, and walked over to their place near the fire.

            "Hey, it's the Cutie!" Sirius said with a grin.  Both he and James were on the floor by the coffee table, Remus on the couch, and Peter on the chair.

            She ignored him.  "Remus, can I talk to you?"

            Sirius cat called, and started making kissing noises.  Frustrated, Lily turned and glared harshly at him. "We're just friends, Sirius, and my _name_ is _Lily!_"  

            Shocked silence followed this.  They'd never seen quite little Lily lose her temper before.

            James started to laugh.  The past two weeks had been so very stressful and overwhelming that Lily turned towards him to give him a piece of her mind too, but he cut her off with out realizing it.

            "_Finally_, Sirius, a girl you _can't_ twist around your finger.  I never thought I'd see the day."

            Upon realizing that it wasn't her he was laughing at her anger left her, and she was suddenly very embarrassed and self conscious.

            "Oh yeah, James?"  He smacked his elbow down on the coffee table, palm open, in a silent challenge.  

            James took it, grabbing Sirius' hand in an impromptu arm wrestle.  Peter got down to be the referee.

            "What did you want to ask me, Lily?"

            Lily fell down onto the couch, glad Sirius and James were now distracted.  Something about Remus just made this so much easier.  As if he knew what it was like, going into something without any idea how it worked.  As if he knew how it felt to be different then everybody around him.

            All anybody had talked about today was the coming "tryouts", and she was burning with curiosity.  "What's Quidditch?"

            At that moment, James' hand slammed Sirius' with a bang that made her jump.  Both were staring at her, as if she was from Mars.

            "You don't know what Quidditch is?" Sirius asked, as if she was just plain stupid.

            "Well, I, no."

            "It's a game, Lily," Remus responded, giving both the other boys a warning glare.  "It's played on broomsticks, in the air."

            Her eyes went wide.  "Broomsticks?  You mean, _flying?_"

            "Either you lived in a hole, or," James' eyes widened with realization, "you're a Muggle born!"

            She nodded.  She knew what that word meant.  She'd heard it enough from the other girls in her dorm.  She wasn't worried about what they thought, though.  She trusted Remus to defend her if they started to tease her too.

            "That's great!" Sirius said.  Well, she hadn't expected _that_ response.  "Dad _insists_ I take Muggle Studies next year.  You can help me study!"

            James swung his leg and kicked the side of his thigh.  "You're such a jerk, Sirius."

            "What?"

            "Sirius, you are the best person at saying the worst things."

            "Wow, thanks Remus, that was really sweet."

            James looked up at her.  "If you want to see some Quidditch, come watch me try out tomorrow.  It'll be fun.

            Peter snickered.  "Yeah, fun to watch James kick everybody else's butt."

            "Isn't mail only supposed to come at breakfast?" Lily asked.  

            They all looked up to see what she was talking about.  She, like several other students in the room, were watching a large bird circle around the room, a letter strapped to its leg.

            When it landed on James' chair, they transferred their stares to him.

            "It has an official ministry seal on it.  James, did you break the law or something?" Sirius asked.

            James actually looked decidedly ill as he untied the letter.  He didn't even open it.  He shoved it in his pocket and stood.  Without a word to anybody, he left out the portrait hole.

            "He knows it's too late to be out there, right?" Lily asked.

            "Old James," Remus observed.

            "Yeah, I think you're right," Sirius agreed, his voice more somber then Lily had ever heard before.  She had no idea what they were talking about, and nobody seemed to want to enlighten her.

***

            The fire was nearly burnt out by the time James returned.  Lily was still beside it, attempting to study Potions.  She wasn't waiting up for him, well, not really.

            He almost walked past her without a word.  But something stopped him.  He walked back over and sat down, eyes captured by the fire.

            "What are your parents like, Lily?" he asked.

            She could tell by his voice he had been crying.  She answered slowly.  "My mother was the only friend I had for a long time.  My dad is an artist.  Like you."

            A half smile came across his face, but it didn't reach his eyes.

            "Do they treat you well?"

            "Yes.  They love me and my sister very much."

            He fell silent, and Lily was dying to know what had brought on this sudden interest in her life.  

            "How well can you keep a secret, Lily?"

            She looked at him.  "It's easy to keep secrets when you hardly talk."

            He smiled again.   It was so cold, it was almost frightening.

            "My mother died giving birth to me."  Dumbfounded, Lily didn't respond.  She didn't know what to say to that.  But James didn't wait long before continuing.  "Nobody even knows she's dead.  She worked with the ministry, like my father.  They lock the records for ten years and nobody is informed except immediate family."

            He reached back, and took out the letter.  With a glare, he threw it at the hot coals, which lit it in yellow flames almost right away.

            "My father died yesterday."

            Lily knew she had to be staring at him.  She didn't know what else to do.  How do you comfort somebody like that?

            He glared at the fire hard.  "I wish he would have died first."  James stood, bending as if to warm his hands by the fire.  "Don't tell anybody. For ten years."  He walked up the boys stairwell and shut the door.

***

            The day had been long.  Well, perhaps not as long as some.  They'd all gotten out of their third class because _somebody_ had flooded the entire second floor.  She sat down at her place with the objective to eat quickly and then go take a nap.

            A small beautifully wrapped package sat on her plate.  She was about to get up and move, even though she always sat on the corner, maybe somebody had mistakenly put it at the wrong place.  Then her name caught her eye. 

            _For Dear Lily_

            There was no signature.  No name.  She reluctantly started to remove the paper, despite how beautifully it was wrapped.  She half expected something to pop out of it.  She hadn't been the butt of the Marauder's jokes before, (she suspected Remus), but that didn't mean they wouldn't start.

            Inside the paper was a small white box.  She held her breath as she pulled the lid off.  Nothing blew up, nothing jumped, nothing happened.

            Inside was a necklace.  A small symbolic key on a chain.  There was a tiny message written next to it.

            _You hold the key to my heart._

            "What did you get, Lily?" Remus asked.  

            She'd been so wrapped up in it, she hadn't even noticed them sit.  They didn't always sit with her, but because Remus like to be with her, it was an often enough occurrence.

            She turned it so he could see, hoping he could offer some sort of explanation as to what it was.

            Remus' eyebrows rose.  Sirius and James leaned across the table to look, while Peter peaked over Remus' shoulder.  "Was there a name?" 

            Lily shook her head, looking back down at the note.

            Remus smiled warmly.  "It seems you've got yourself a secret admirer, Lily."

            She was so shocked by his assumption, she didn't even notice when Sirius and James started to cat call.

***

            It was too early to be awake, she was sure.  She slowly made her way to the desk, where everybody's laundry sat folded in separate piles.  It took her a long moment to translate what she was seeing.  Every pile was an sickly chartreuse color.

            Something must have gone wrong with the laundry.  Through her sleep fogged mind came the answer, the Marauders.

            With a sigh she grabbed her pile.  Everybody else would be having the same problem, there was no need to be embarrassed.

***

            Remus and Lily were both sprawled out on the boy's bed, two text books open in front of them.  Technically, she wasn't supposed to be in their dorm, but it wasn't a rule that was upheld often.  Sirius had a "date" somewhere.  James had wanted to practice for his game on the upcoming weekend, and Peter had gone along to watch.

            Lily didn't get potions.  She really just couldn't grasp it.  Charms, she adored.  This just was beyond her.

            Mentally fried, she let her head fall onto the book in front of her.  "Am I helping at all yet?"

            "Yes, Remus, you're helping me a lot.  My brain just doesn't want to admit that objects my parents mixed together at home in a pot suddenly have a different outcome if I put in a caldron and stir it clockwise."

            Remus smiled softly.  "You know, Lily, even if your parents put it in a caldron and stirred it clockwise, they still would get the same thing, only you would get something different."

            She blinked at him.  "But, why?"

            "Because you're special, Lily.  You're a witch.  There's magic running through you, and it affects everything around you."

            She turned to stare back at the book.  "Even this?  I mean, I knew, wand waving, was magic.  But even this uses magic?"

            Remus put an arm around her back and gave her a slight hug as she closed the book with a sigh. "There's so much I don't understand yet.  I don't know what I'd do without you, Remus."  She laid her head down on her arm.

            "It's nothing Lil.  I'm glad to be able to help."

            She lifted her head up, a question on her lips, but it died unuttered.  Instead she laid her head back down, looking the other way.

            Remus cleared his throat nervously.  "I guess I understand, what it's like, to be different."

            She turned her head back to face him.  He was answering her question without her asking.

            "I'm a werewolf."

            Her eyebrow shot up, and she slowly lifted her head yet again.  "Really?  What's that mean?"

            Remus seemed to radiate relief that she hadn't run out screaming.  Truthfully, Lily didn't know if she should run or not.  She had no idea what a real werewolf was, and why act on assumption?  

            "Well first, you can't tell anybody.  Nobody else knows."

            She spared a thought to wonder how many secrets she would have by the end of the year.

***

            Spring was coming, and the weather was decidedly warmer.  Well, maybe not that warm, she was thankful for her sweater.  But after being cooped up in the castle basically since September, she needed to be outside, even if it was just for studying. 

            She knew who Severus Snape was, everybody does.  When he came and sat next to her, however, she had no idea why.  

            "Hi, I'm Severus."

            She looked at him without responding.  Was he going to tease her too?  The Slytherins hated her.  She watched with guarded eyes as his pale skin reddened slightly.  He was blushing?

            He was obviously thrown off by her lack of response.  "Look, ah, if those Marauders ever give you a hard time, let me know, okay?  I'll stop them."

            His cheeks flushing redder, he got back up and practically ran away.

            She wanted to tell him if he tried, the Marauders would only intensify their pranks on him.  Then it suddenly hit her why he had stopped.  And looking to her right, sure enough, there sat another one of the packages, wrapped in the same beautiful paper.  It was the seventh so far this year.

            Her secret admirer was Severus Snape.

            She'd been secretly hoping that it was Remus.  He, well, at least she knew him.

            She didn't pay much attention to boys though.  She didn't understand the point.  They just seemed to make everything so much more difficult.

            The Marauders were approaching, and in a stroke of forethought, she grabbed the package and shoved it in her bag.  They could see Snape leaving.  If they saw the package and guessed, poor Snape would never hear the end of it.

***

            Exams at her old school had never been as difficult and strenuous as they were at Hogwarts.  She loved the challenge though, and knew with a comforting confidence that she had passed every one, including Potions which she no longer struggled with because of Remus.

            She couldn't wait to go home.  Easter and Christmas were not enough.  Her bags had been mostly packed for several days.  

            She wrote to her mother every night, though the letters would often be held and sent a few at a time, because she felt bad for the owls.  Her mother knew everything that happened.  Even the two huge secrets the Marauders were making her keep.  She wasn't so sure about this no magic of over the summer thing, however.  She'd just learned how to use magic.  What if she forgot how by the time she got back? 

            It would be worth the sacrifice though, for her own bed and her parents faces every morning.  She knew Petunia would probably be even worse then normal, but she would deal.  As long as she was home.


	3. Chapter Two: Friends

Chapter Two: Friends 

Lily fell backwards into her bed. She was exhausted, but it was so very good to be home, in her own room, in her own bed, with her family just downstairs.

But she couldn't rest just yet. She'd promised Remus that she would write the moment she walked in the door. True to her word, she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She wondered if he would puzzle over the ink and stunningly white paper. She scribbled him a quick note that assured him she had gotten home safely, that her sister hadn't sabotaged her return, and that she would write more when she had more to tell. She handed the letter to Remus' owl Gabriel, which he had sent home with her for that very purpose. Giving the young owl a kiss on the top of his head, she let him out the window.

Setting up Kit's bed in the corner of the room, she kissed her once too, before running back downstairs. "Mama, I'm done!"

"Did you tell Remus that the car didn't crash?"

She giggled and nodded. "He says he doesn't trust them, but I think really he just worries about me and needs an excuse."

Daisy pulled her daughter into a one armed hug. "I'm very glad that he does. It makes me feel better that somebody does."

"Oh Mama! I want to show you all the stuff I've learned! But I can't use my wand until I come home next Christmas."

"Well you can still show us some potions can't you?"

Lily smiled. "Yeah, anything that doesn't use my wand. Remus and I have a killer ingredients collection. It's startling what we actually grow on the school grounds if you just take the time to look for it."

"Well can you make anything that will cure the poison ivy your father has?"

Lily's entire face brightened. "Actually, yeah!"

x-x-x-x-x

Lily knocked gently on her sister's door. "It's open!" came the reply from within. Lily pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"What do you want?" the blonde snarled, immediately going on the defense at her surprise to see her sister rather then one of her parents.

Lily took a step back at her older sister's harshness. "I go back next week you know."

"So?" Petunia questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"We've hardly spoken all summer long," Lily elaborated, hoping Petunia would draw the conclusion on her own.

"Intentional," he sister answered shortly.

"Oh," Lily said, acting surprised though she already had known that. Knowing didn't make it hurt any less. She stepped back out of the door and closed it behind her.

x-x-x-x-x

Lily looked around her room once more, trying to think if there was anything here she would need between now and Christmas. With a small sigh she closed her case and snapped it shut. Kit nudged her elbow, upset with being ignored.

"Sorry, love," Lily said, picking her up and taking her out of the room. "I don't want to leave either."

She moved downstairs, where her mother was busy making her favorite breakfast and her father was reading the paper. Petunia was no where to be seen, but she rarely attended meals anymore. She avoided Lily at all costs.

She swallowed hard, realizing she would be leaving them both in a few hours. But they smiled at her encouragingly and didn't talk about it. Lily was grateful. If they had told her how much they were going to miss her, she'd probably break down, lose her nerve, and refuse to go back.

x-x-x-x-x

Lily wandered through the compartments, looking for one with a seat left. She'd stalled getting on the train, wanting to put off leaving her parents as long as possible. She'd left her belongings somewhere near the front of the train, carrying only Kit in a handled basket.

She found the compartment with the Marauders. There were a few seats left, and when she admitted it to herself, she missed them. Sirius was the first to notice her. "Lily!" he exclaimed, jumping up from his chair and running to her. She was so shocked when he pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head that she blushed as red as her hair and stood shock still.

"You only wrote Remus all summer long," he accused.

"I'm sorry," she apologized instantly.

"Don't be," Remus said, pushing Sirius out of the way to hug her. She hugged him back with vengeance. "I missed you Lily."

"I missed you too," she returned. Kit mewed a protest because she was tipping the basket, and she pulled away.

Peter gave her a quick wave from his seat where he was furiously scribbling at a parchment, probably attempting to finish his summer homework.

"Hey Lily," James said, not looking up. Curious, she went over to see what he was so intent on.

It was a small painting of a woman's hand. She realized after a delayed moment, that James wasn't studying it he was painting it. "You painted that?" she asked.

"It's Sirius' mother's hand," he answered. He looked up with mischievous eyes. "She's so hot, Sirius wouldn't let me paint anything but her hands."

Sirius pretended to chuck a book at him. "You're a pervert."

"Tell him I'm right, guys, she's hot." Sirius glared at both Remus and Peter. Lily knew instinctively that only James would get away with it. They must have sensed it to, because Peter pretended not to hear and Remus just shook his head sadly.

"I didn't know you painted," Lily said, bringing the topic back to the point.

"I had a lot of free time as a kid," he answered.

"You're very good," she said. The painting was startlingly realistic. He was only thirteen.

James didn't respond, but she could tell he was pleased with the compliment.

"Lily," Remus called. "Come tell me about your summer."

x-x-x-x-x

Lily nearly collapsed into her seat. Her new classes were challenging, and after one week she really wasn't adjusted to her new schedule yet. It was hard, also, to readjust to the food served at Hogwarts, after a summer at home. But right now she was starving. She leaned against Remus and he chuckled at her.

Sirius and James ducked in across from them, keeping their heads bent low so as to not be noticed. Lily knew instantly they'd done something wrong. She waited with held breath for something to blow up.

Nothing did, and the two began to eat their meals, still bent over. After a while, she relaxed and focused on her own.

When a scream came from the Slytherin table, she knew it was their fault before she even knew what was happening. A putrid smell came across the room, causing moans of disgust and everybody to cover their noses. How convenient, that under the pretense of covering their noses, the Marauders hid their snickers.

All the food on the Slytherin table had turned rotten. Those with some in their mouth were currently being sick where they sat or running out of the room. After another moment, when the stench did not fade, everyone began to run out of the room.

x-x-x-x-x

"What do you think?"

James ducked out from behind his easel to give his best friend a once over. "You look exactly like you always do."

"Perfect," Sirius said, nodding at his own reflection.

"Who is she again?"

"That Ravenclaw forth year, Sarah or Sam or something."

James snickered as he washed his brushes out. "If you don't know her name, what are you going to call her?"

Sirius curled his nose. "I'll have to use one of those dumb pet names, if it comes to that."

"So I'm stuck in here alone all night?"

Sirius grinned. "Peter had detention, probably until midnight, and Madam Min won't let us see Remus."

"I hope he doesn't have whatever his mom does."

"She said it was just a highy contagious something or another."

"You're going to be late."

"She'll live," he said, walking out of the room.

x-x-x-x-x

Lily pocketed the small, beautifully wrapped package before her classmates could see it. Severus had this class right before her, and somehow had found out where she usually sat. As she was early, and she'd seen him leave, she ran out after him.

"Snape!" she called, gaining his full attention instantly. He turned and stopped, looking nervous and flushed.

"Yes, Lily?" he asked, slightly breathless.

Now that she had his attention, she wasn't sure what to say. "You don't, you don't have to keep buying me things, okay?" She realized a heart beat to late that sounded like rejection, and his face fell. She couldn't do that to him. "Write to me instead, all right?"

Not wanting to see him react to that, she turned and ran back to class, fighting a blush so her classmates wouldn't know.

x-x-x-x-x

James and Sirius stood when Remus walked into the dorm. Peter ducked behind him and shut the door, locking it. Remus looked startled at Peter, then at Sirius and James who were standing shoulder to shoulder. "What's wrong guys?"

James took a small step forward. "Remus, we know."

A shot of panic struck through his stomach, but he didn't allow it to show on his face. "Know what?" he asked, forcing calm.

"We know why you disappear every month, conveniently on the full moon. We figured out why your mom looked so healthy when she's always so sick. You're a werewolf, Remus." He took a step closer, and Remus backed up.

Silence followed the accusation. James glanced at Sirius, thinking perhaps they'd made a mistake, as shock was written across Remus' face.

Sirius shook his head, and walked toward Remus. "Look, Remus," he said, his voice demanding.

Shock transformed to panic as Sirius approached, and Remus let out a cry and turned. He pushed past Peter and struggled with the lock. As soon as he had it open he fled at a dead run.

"Catch him!" James shouted, causing Remus to whimper and run faster.

He jumped half the stair until he reached the landing that connected the girls' stair to the boys'. He didn't wait to knock on Lily's door, he could hear them coming down the steps behind him. He flung it open and slammed it behind him, locking it and sinking to the floor before Lily had even turned.

"Remus?"

After a cursory glance to check nobody else was around, Remus dissolved into tears and hid his face. "Lily, they know. Sirius and James. They locked me in the room. They found out. They're after me."

She didn't ask any questions. She didn't think either of them were capable of hurting Remus, but she had no way of understanding how much this world feared werewolves, and she wasn't taking any chances.

"Stand up, Remus, over here," she said, grabbing his arm and leading him across the room to the far side of her bed so he wouldn't be visible from the doorway. "Did they see you come in here?" she asked, grabbing her wand off of her bed and holding it ready.

He nodded, wiping tears off his face that were replaced instantly. He was trembling, but he didn't make any noise. Nearly brought to tears herself at the fear he was displaying, Lily wrapped him in a hug. She'd kill them both before she let them touch Remus.

Three hard bangs hit the door. "Remus, come out of there!" Sirius yelled.

Lily's face hardened, as did her grip on her wand. "Just keep quiet."

She stomped over to the door and threw it open, her wand already pointed. Their eyes widened in shock. "Take one more step and I swear," she threatened. "I know more charms than the two of you put together and if you even think of touching him I'll kill you both," she growled, advancing on them. They backed away, until James shook his head.

"We're not going to _hurt_ him!" he cried in dismay.

"We've got a plan!" Sirius defended, holding his hands up to ward her away.

"You _lock_ him in a room, _accuse _him, and _chase_ him and expect me to believe you don't mean to harm him?" She stopped advancing so she could keep both in the line of fire of her wand.

Sirius and James both looked instantly ashamed. Sirius swore loudly.

"We didn't mean to scare him," James said, moving toward her. She turned her wand solely on him, aiming right at his throat.

"Don't you dare," she said through gritted teeth.

"He's our _best friend,_ Lily! We want to help him."

While Lily's wand was on James, Sirius rushed past her and into the room. "No!" Lily shouted, wiping around with her wand. But James reached out and grabbed her wrist, forcing her wand from her hand into his. He caught her around the waist, lifting her clean off the floor, and dragging her into the room. "No!" she shouted, fighting with all of her might to get free. She kicked at him and struggled, but he was stronger than she. Sirius stood in the middle of the empty room

James shut the door behind him, right in the face of Peter who'd finally made it to the landing. With Lily's wand he placed a silencing spell. Lily realized with dismay that nobody was going to help them. "Let me go!"

Sirius's head snapped to her bed, he must have heard something. Lily screamed, twisting her body and scratching his arm with her one free hand. James followed Sirius behind the bed.

Remus sat there, shaking violently, his face hidden in his knees. Lily felt liquid on her finger tips and knew she was drawing blood, but James held her tight. She was no match for his strength.

Sirius fell to his knees by Remus, and grabbed him instantly in a tight hug. "Remus, God, we're not going to hurt you. How could you think we would hurt you?"

Lily stopped fighting instantly, going limp in James' grasp. For a long moment, Sirius held Remus as tightly as James did Lily. Slowly, Remus' tear streaked face rose.

James walked over and sat Lily down on her bed. She stared at him dumbly now that she had been let go, and he gave her a warm smile, before joining the group hug. "We're so sorry that we scared you, Remus," he said. "We weren't thinking."

"We're asses," Sirius admitted.

Remus swallowed heavily. "You don't hate me?"

"Never," Sirius said vehemently. "We've known for a few days. James has been doing some research. We just got around to telling Peter."

"We have an idea that might help you."

Remus looked at James, then gasped. "You're bleeding."

Lily wanted to sink into the ground. James' arm was covered in angry red streaks, half of them open and bleeding.

James, however, laughed. "Lily was trying to kill us." He stood up. "We're going to go now, and we'll be in the dorm. But we're not going to hurt you. When you're ready to talk, come back." He grabbed Sirius' shoulder and pulled him toward the door. Lily marveled at the maturity that he was displaying.

When they door opened, they could hear Peter pelting them with questions. The last being 'Did he do that to you?' and James responding with a laugh 'No, Lily did,' before the door closed.

Lily crawled down onto the floor and practically into Remus' lap. "I feel like an idiot," she said, hiding her face in his knee. "I'm never going to be able to look him in the face again." Remus didn't respond and after a moment she looked up at him. "What?"

"You were going to kill them for me." His voice wasn't accusing, as if he thought she was insane, but rather of wonder.

"Yeah, well," Lily said, slightly embarrassed. "You would have done the same. And so would they."

He reached out and took her hand in his, causing her stomach to do an odd little twist. "Lily," he said seriously, "nobody's ever protected me like that before."

They stared at each other for a moment. Remus glanced at the wall, then assembled his courage to bend down and press his lips against hers.

x-x-x-x-x

Lily sat in charms, doodling circles and stars on her paper. She'd long finished her assignment, which was typical. Usually she brought something with her to do, but today she hadn't.

Professor Flitwick started talking again and Lily looked up. He was putting the homework up on the board. She blinked twice. He'd written vulgar words, words she didn't think he'd even know. "Professor?" came a questioning student. All at once he saw what the board said and started so badly he nearly fell off the chair.

"Oh my!" he exclaimed, reaching for the eraser. But as he touched it, the eraser shot away from his hand. Following, the chalk pulled from his grasp and went after it. They engaged in a game of tag across the board, the chalk making sure to spell out every dirty word that it could in the process.

"Potter! Back! Lupin! Pettigrew!" he shouted, jumping down off his chair and hurrying out of the room. Similar shouts down the hall told Lily that every room was having the same problem.

x-x-x-x-x

James closed the door behind Sirius and he walked into the dorm. "You're late," he accused.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "She started telling me about her parents, and all the problems that they have, and how the fight, and how it makes her feel." He pretended to choke himself. "Needless to say, I won't be seeing her again."

James rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Alright. I found another book that says the same thing. Animagi are immune to werewolf bites while in their animal form. All we have to do is make the potion."

"How illegal is this?" Remus asked, nervous.

"Well," James said reluctantly. "It's pretty illegal, actually. But I know how to not get caught. We have the cloak."

"Always a huge help," Sirius said with a grin.

"And," James said slowly. "I have a place to brew it, that nobody buy myself can get into."

"What do you mean, only you? What about us?"

James shook his head. "It's a family secret, it's worth more than my life to tell you it exists. But if we work together to gather the ingredients, I can make it where even Dumbledore won't know about it."

"Are you _positive?_" Remus insisted, terrified of the idea of them getting in trouble for his sake.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Remus. We won't get caught, I promise we won't. So, let's start the list of what we need, and where to get it."

"We should tell Lily," Remus said quickly, causing the other three to look at him. He blushed but held his ground. "She's great with plants. She can grow us ingredients. We don't have to tell her exactly which potion it is we're making."

"But she'll figure it out," James said crossing his arms.

Remus shook his head. "She hates potions. She'd never read ahead, even if curious, she'd just ask me. Trust me."

"Well, you know her best."

"Even if she did find out, she'd never betray us."

Sirius nodded. "That I can believe."

x-x-x-x-x

James slid down the stair into the chamber. The white washed walls were hardly an inviting entrance, and he made a mental note to start hanging some of his paintings in here rather than storing them under his bed.

He usually avoided being here, as his only memories from this place were with his father. It really was rather a waste of an opportunity, though, when he was the only person that could get in. Perhaps he could redecorate, and then it wouldn't hold as many memories.

He'd decided on the kitchen as the best area to brew the potion, as there was a fire pit beside the common Muggle stove. He grinned at the beautiful mesh of culture that the chamber had come to resemble. Not in recent generations, but usually the descendents of his blood line tended to marry Muggle born or even Muggles. He enjoyed living like a Muggle. When his father was undercover, they'd spent a lot of time in Muggle disguises.

He'd been terrified of having to spend the summer here after his father had died. Even more frightening would have been going home for summer before he'd died. But both years the Black family had taken him in the whole summer.

He dumped in the initial set of ingredients. It wasn't really _that_ complicated of a potion, it just required about two years to make, with several sessions of boiling and freezing and simmering and letting it stand for sometimes months at a time.

x-x-x-x-x

Lily stepped into the common room with a grin on her face. Somehow, the Marauders had managed to convince all the paintings to wear mustaches, even the animal ones. The fat lady had worn a darker one over the shadow of one she already had, and it was very amusing.

She dropped her books beside the couch and fell down onto it. School was pleasantly tiring right now. Not enough to exhaust her but it kept her busy enough to avoid homesickness.

Sirius fell down on the couch beside her. "Hey there Lily," he said, smiling at her.

She blushed. Sirius still intimidated her. His personality was a little overwhelming. "Hey," she said softly, turning to stare into the fire.

"So," he said, trying to convince her to speak, "James' arm is healing."

Lily blushed again. "I told him I was sorry."

"You shouldn't be," he said, jumping on the opening. "What you did was very cool. That you stood up for Remus. You're a really great friend to him." There was a slight emphasis on the word friend, and if she wasn't still red Lily would have blushed again.

"Are you guys, more than friends?" he asked when she didn't offer the information.

"No," she said, almost too quickly. She knew he wouldn't believe her. "We decided it would be too weird. He's, he's my closest friend, and we just, decided not make it weird."

She didn't tell him the rest. That she was afraid of losing the only friend she had. That although she had a crush on him, it was one that fled away when confronted with the aspect of actually doing anything about it. Her crush was simply because he was the only boy in her life she felt comfortable with, besides her father.

"Hey Lily," he said after another minute. "You don't have to seclude yourself with just Remus. James and I, well, we're your friends too. We were before, but even more so now." He got flustered, something Lily had never seen before. She knew she was staring but she couldn't help it. Sirius excused himself and left the common room.

x-x-x-x-x

The Marauders made a point to always sit with Lily at meals, and she knew now it wasn't just Remus' prompting. She didn't always sit next to him now, but next to all of them. Slowly, she was getting to know them a little bit more.

The mail arrived, and as usual she got a letter from her mother. "What's the news from home?" Sirius asked.

Lily breezed through the letter before she answered him. "Not a lot. My sister is being difficult again."

"You have a sister?" he said with surprise. "Is she coming to school?"

Lily shook her head. "She's older. She wasn't asked to come."

"We're all only children," Remus said. "All four of us."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, be glad. Having a sibling is awful."

James let his fork clatter to the plate. They turned to stare at him but he didn't look up; his eyes were glued to his plate. "Excuse me," he said, standing and leaving the room.

They waited in silence until he left the room.

"Man," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You never know what's going to make Old James show up."

"Old James?" Lily asked. It wasn't the first time they'd referred to him as that. None of them would answer her.

x-x-x-x-x

Lily tried managed not to laugh when Snape walked into the door. The Marauders had turned every door in the school invisible, so you would try to walk through what you thought was an open doorway only to bump your nose. They'd all been caught at least twice, and Snape's nerves at meeting her had probably caused him to forget.

He glared at the invisible door as if it was the Marauders themselves, then started to grope for the knob. Once he managed to get inside, Lily smiled at him, which caused him to go red.

"What did you need my help with?" he asked, setting his book down and getting right to the point, avoiding her eyes.

Lily sat a list down in front of him. "I need to grow these. But I don't recognize a lot of the names. I figured they have to be things we won't cover in Herbology.

Snape scanned the list. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me what you're making with these?"

She colored prettily. "I can't, I'm sorry."

"Some of these are very rare, and some are very dangerous, dark, even."

That made her eyes widen. "Really? I didn't know."

Snape looked up at her, not really convinced, but saw the honest confusion on her face. "How can a _plant_ be dark?"

He shook his head. "Not the plant. The uses for it are usually dark, or what it can do."

"Oh," she said, slumping. "Is there anything commonly used for a substitute?"

"If you need them, I can get them," he answered. "But not until the beginning of next year."

"That's perfect," she said, perking instantly at his words. He was pleased he was able to make her happy that way. She turned her bright green eyes on him. "Thank you, Severus. It means a lot to me."

"You do realize I could probably identify what you were trying to make by this list." She paled, and he immediately wished he hadn't said it. She panicked. The Marauders hadn't even wanted her to know what they were doing. Butshe hadrefused to help until they told her. If they found out she was involving their enemy: they'd hate her. If Snape found out what they were doing he'd have horrible blackmail against all of them. "But I won't," he finished quickly, then added slyly, "if you trust me."

"Of course I trust you," she said, somewhat insulted. Severus had been writing to her for months now. He still periodically left her presents, but her conscious was somewhat eased. Sometimes she wrote him back, but more often than not she found she didn't know how to respond to his flattery.

"Then it won't be a problem."

x-x-x-x-x

The train ride home was rather silent without James. Somehow, despite that Sirius was usual the source of most of the noise, without James he was unable to be as lively.

The potion needed constant hourly stirring for three straight days, which just happened to fall on the first three days of summer. So James had stayed in hissecret room, sending most of his belongings home with Sirius.

"How is he going to get to your house when he's done?" Lily asked, suddenly seeing a hole in their brilliant plan.

Sirius glanced at Remus, who begged with his eyes. Sirius rolled his own. "Fine tell her. It's not like she doesn't know everything else already."

"James has an invisibility cloak."

She took a moment to process that. "So it makes him invisible?"

Remus nodded. "He kept his broom too. He'll fly to Sirius' under the cloak, so nobody will see him.

She grinned, as suddenly a lot of things made sense. "So _that's_ how you guys get away with so much." Kit crawled out of her lap and into Sirius'. Once she'd warmed up to him, Kit made a point to remind Sirius of his softer side.

"That's the secret," Remus agreed. She realized, with shock, that she was actually going to miss being at school, now that she had friends.

_(A/N: Hey there everybody. I know you're all waiting for Year Six, but I hope this can hold you off for a while. I promise I'll be more productive after January when my classes change. I just don't have a lot of time right now. And Gwen and I are having a rather dificult timefiguring out how we're going to do this Professional Quidditch thing. lol. Please stay loyal as you've always been. )_


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